The Presidents - Jonathan Coulton

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The Presidents Lyrics

Washington came first and he was perfect
John Adams kept us out of war with France
Jefferson made a Louisiana Purchase
In 1812 James Madison kicked the British in the pants
James Monroe told Europe they could suck it
John Quincy Adams looked just like his Dad
Andrew Jackson got rid of all the indians
Van Buren served one term but he wasn't bad

William Henry Harrison died early
John Tyler annexed Texas from Mexico
James K. Polk fought Mexico to keep it
Taylor was a Mexican War hero
Filmore gave a boat to Commodore Perry
Pierce repealed the Missouri Compromise
Buchanan saw the Civil War's beginnings
Lincoln saved the Union, then he died

Andrew Johnson just survived impeachment
General Grant enjoyed a drink or two
Rutherford B. Hayes ended reconstruction
Garfield was asssassinated in 1882
Arthur suspended Chinese immigration
Cleveland made the railroad people squirm
Harrison signed the Sherman Anti-Trust Act
Grover Cleveland served another term

McKinley kept the Spanish out of Cuba
Roosevelt was handy with a gun
Taft was big and fat and had a mustache
Wilson kicked some ass in World War I
Harding said let's laissez faire with business
Coolidge made the roaring 20's roar
Hoover screwed the pooch in the Great Depression
Then Roosevelt beat the Nazis in a war

Truman dropped the bomb on Hiroshima
Eisenhower kept the commies well in hand
Kennedy was killed by a magic bullet
Johnson murdered kids in Vietnam
Nixon was a sweating filthy liar
Ford gave Nixon pardon for his crimes
Carter lusted in his heart for peanuts
Reagan won the Cold War and lost his mind

George Bush senior poked at Sadam Hussein
Clinton gave an intern a cigar
W's legacy's a work in progress
That is all the presidents so far
In the year 2005 we're out of money
Somewhere surely freedom's on the march
I don't like to make political statements

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Jonathan Coulton is a geek rock / folk rock musician active since 2003 from Brooklyn, known for his songs about geek culture. He is best known for such compositions as "Still Alive" and "Code Monkey", as well as his cover of Sir Mix-A-Lot's "Baby Got Back". He is the Contributing Troubadour for Popular Science magazine and the musical director for John Hodgman's Little Gray Book Lectures.

Every week for a year Coulton released a new song for free on his website as part of his Thing a Week podcast, on topics as diverse as vengeful nerds, self-loathing giant squid, partially-imagined historical figures, and devotees of a certain Swedish prefab furniture store. The Thing a Week project is now complete, and all songs can be streamed from his official website. Many of the songs on the site can be downloaded for free. The song "Code Monkey" became the theme song to the G4 television show Code Monkeys.

Coulton's song "Still Alive" has been featured in Valve Software's game Portal (and has become a hit among the gamers who finished the game) . He also made a recording of this song called the "J.C. Mix" which is exactly the same except he is singing rather than Ellen McLain as GLaDOS. "Still Alive" went on to be featured in the game Rock Band, as well as Skullcrusher Mountain and Re: Your Brains Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.

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Jonathan Coulton