Unemployed Boyfriend Lyrics

*Hi this is Peggy, leave me a nice message or I'll kill ya!
-- Hey Peggy, it's me.
You are never going to believe what happened to me today.
I'm sitting at the unemployment office
Waiting on my loser of a case worker
In one of those nasty chairs
When from out of nowhere
This total stranger walks right up to me, sits down
then leans over and says something like
"This is going to sound a little obsessive..."*

*This is going to sound a little obsessive
This is going to sound a little bit strange
I have one thing to say
Before I turn and I walk away
This is going to sound a little impulsive
This is going to sound a little insane
I know you don't know me yet
but you and I
we will be together
Someday
Someday
I know ... I know ... I sound like I'm on drugs
But listen to me when I say.
That ever since I first saw you
Sitting on your car outside you asked for a cigarette
I couldn't stop staring at your eyes
Ever since when I first saw you
Looking bored in that plastic chair
With the lights of the office around you
Those blonde streaks
they look so pretty in your black hair
You look cool and alternative with that disaffected stare
Yeah, You want people to think that you just don't care
Hey you can be with me 'cause I just might be the one
Who will treat you like you're perfect
Who will always make you cum
Hey, You can be with me
I will always let you win
I will never be like those other guys
I will never be your unemployed boyfriend

--Can you believe he said that to me?!?
To me, of all people!
I can't even remember the last time when a guy took me out on a date and actually paid for it

*This is going to sound a little bit out there
Yeah this is going to sound a little insane
But I keep having the same dream
That you will be the mother of my children someday
Someday.
I've heard you sleep with that obnoxoius guy
I know he is in that famous band
You look so sad when you are with him
Yes, I never see him reach to hold your hand
You can be with me, yes I will treat you like a queen
I will go to all those chick flick movies
That I really don't want to see
You can be with me
no I will never let you down
I will never make out with your girlfriends
When I know you're not around
You can be with me
Yeah I just might be the one who will treat you like you're special
I will always make you cum
You can be with me
I will always let you win
I will never be like those other guys
I will never be like those other guys!
I will never be your unemployed boyfriend!

--Can you believe this?
I mean, can this be for real?!?
Then he takes my hand, writes down his number, and just walks away
I mean, WOW
But you know, the weird thing is, he's actually kinda cute,
in a really intense way, ya know like Barry Farell
Intense but sensitive, anyway i told my bitch big sister about it
and she just laughed at me, i told her i was really exited about this guy
i said this could be the guy