Crispy Critters - C.W. McCall

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Crispy Critters Lyrics

(c.w. mccall, bill fries, chip davis)

Bill fries says that this is based on a true story from the late '60s, when a band of hippies rolled into telluride and decided to stay.

One day about four or five years ago
We is settin' at the conoco station
Kickin' tires, and swattin' flies,
And discussin' the state of the union
When right out in front of the baptist church
Come a big ol' purple school bus
Had astrological signs upon it
And thirty-five hippies and dogs inside
About half of 'em went for the courthouse lawn
And them dogs commenced on the fireplug
Rest of 'em set there starin' at us
And I says, roy, go get your flit gun
He says, which is the hippies? and which is the dogs?
I says, beats the hell outta me, roy.
What they was, was a bunch a' them crispy critters
And their leader was a space cadet

He says, sagittarius, we has arrived.
Prepare to disembark, men.
Get the incense goin' and the sitar out
We gonna camp in the city park, man.

I says, boys, let me explain the situation to ya.
A: you're gettin' me down
And b: we got us a leash law here
And c: you in the wrong town.
You drop one string a' beads in that there park
And you gonna see a whole lotta stars.
You got fifteen seconds to get out of town, boys,
Or we gonna blow ya ta mars.

Well, they all got back in the purple bus
And proceeded to the city limits.
Then the telephone rang, was the swimmin' pool
Says a mess a' wild critters was in it!
So we all got in the marshal's plymouth
(which is always at the conoco station)
Went flashin' on down to the swimmin' pool
To give them critters a citation

By the time we arrived, it was too damn late
Them critters is all had their pants down
Them dogs was tearin' the bathhouse apart,
And they's after the fish in the fish pond!
I says, roy, you get the one in the silver t-shirt
And I'll get the rest with a net.
We gonna have a jail full a' naked crispy critters
And a drip-dry space cadet.

[you've watched the dukes of hazzard, haven't you? c'mon, admit it; nobody's looking. well, at this point in the song there's a short interlude which resembles a car chase on dukes. there's banj
Kin' and yee-hawin' and a general sense of raucous abandon. oh, yeah, and a few dog barks. it's round-up time at the swimmin' pool.]

Well, we gave 'em hell, but we lost the war
'cause them critters outnumbered us
So they moved in and set up camp
And they lived in that purple school bus
Six weeks later, there was nothin' in town
But eighty-four dogs and a head shop
Sellin' dried up weeds, and sunflower seeds,
And astrological postcards

Yeah, critters took over the city council
And the dogs all barked their brains out
And the whole damn town was crispy critters
And the mayor was a space cadet

Lyrics provided by LyricsEver.com
C.W. McCall is the pseudonym of William Dale Fries (born November 15, 1928 in Audubon, Iowa, USA).

McCall is best known for the 1975 #1 hit song "Convoy", which came at the peak of the citizens band radio fad in the United States. Far from a one-hit wonder, McCall continued to chart with songs such as "Wolf Creek Pass", which hit #40 on the U.S. pop top 40 in 1975, and at least two other songs hit Billboard's pop Hot 100, including "Old Home Filler-Up an' Keep on a-Truckin' Cafe", as well as the environmentally-oriented "There Won't Be No Country Music (There Won't Be No Rock 'n' Roll)". A dozen McCall songs hit Billboard's country singles chart, including the sentimental "Roses For Mama" (1977).

In 1978, the movie Convoy was released, based on the C.W. McCall song and starring Kris Kristofferson.

In addition to the "original six" McCall albums released between 1975 and 1979, two rare singles exist. "Kidnap America" was a politically/socially-conscious track, while "Pine Tar Wars" referred to an event that actually happened in a New York Yankees-Kansas City Royals baseball game in 1983.

In 1982, McCall was elected mayor of the town of Ouray, Colorado, ultimately serving three terms.

In 1990, American Gramaphone Records issued a CD containing a number of old McCall tracks re-recorded for the digital CD age, plus a new song, "Comin' Back For More", which was inspired by Alferd Packer, an alleged cannibal from the 19th century. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.

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