It was a snowy day in the middle of Chinese summer. Meanwhile, in Allston, Massachusetts, Luke Bergamini found Himself on the edge of a metaphorical cliff, looking off into the distance, they saw a light. It was a tween with a laser pointer. He shined it right in Luke’s eye, now he is unable to see the color red. His love for communism documentaries was ruined overnight.

In order to compensate for his inability to appreciate the rich and complex history of communist Russia, his body developed an extraordinary ability to summon funk music on the electric bass guitar.

With this newfound funkiness, the dark hallway of Luke’s destiny was illuminated. A band. A music bands. He sought out members. Band members. Music band members. He knew he would need a keyboardist, a guitarist, and a Bassoonist, which he couldn’t find, so he settled for a drummer.

Ben “The Handsome one” Hammer was forged in the mountains of Cincinnati, Ohio. A combination of Quartz, white hot masculinity, and everything nice. He was dubbed “The Handsome one” by the band’s fan. Mrs. Hammer has refused further comment for this interview.

Marshall “The Cute One” Kummer, was born three weeks premature due to his incessant drumming on the inner walls of his mother’s womb. he was dubbed a medical marvel when he emerged with complete independence of each limb, Doctors at the time dubbed him “torso boy”. When he retrieved and reattached his limbs, he took up the drumkit shortly thereafter. He met Luke Bergamini at a batman only costume party. They both came dressed as Condoleezza Rice.

Grant “Grant” Bloom had never been exposed to sunlight upon meeting Luke in 2016. He had been detained in a highly controversial prison designed to convert societal menaces into funk guitarists. Grant escaped by tying bass strings together and slowly filing his cell’s bars down, taking thousands of hours. Grant was hitchhiking when Luke picked him up on I-95 on his way to an I-95 appreciation convention.

From then, the four were inseparable. After their debut performance at the Krazy Glue factory, the four were conjoined at the foreheads for two years with only their thoughts and love of the funk. They perform, record, entertain like no other group before them. Read more on Last.fm. User-contributed text is available under the Creative Commons By-SA License; additional terms may apply.