Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis - Eric Schwartz

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Unless they just abhor us?
Well, anyway, it adds another layer to the chorus!

CHORUS

So you'll execute a person and then protect the single cell
But mercy kill the terminally ill and you're going straight to Hell?
Well, I don't know much about the word of God, far be it from me
But I can tell you what it ain't, that's hypo-Christianity
Well, I am not anti-Christian, before you grab a rope
There is beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope
And we're all lookin' for that answer
Some colossal, cosmic cause
But who the f**k are you to turn your views into my laws?

It's just believers in the bible that would have abortion banned
Anti-choice agnostics, I could count 'em on one hand
And as for killing babies, I've got but one retort:
If someone raped your daughter, George, you'd beg her to abort

And if some young girl from your church shows up with child or some infection
cause you told her what a horrid sin it was to use protection
Well, one day you'll face the pearly gates
And what you gonna say
When that long-haired, Jewish peacenick sends your ass the other way

Sayin' keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
I've had it up to here with all the biblobile you spew
So keep your Jesus off my penis
Well, at least that's what I would do
Yeah, keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you
That's if'n you want me toLyrics provided by TANCODEhttp://lyricsever.com/" readonly=""/>

Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis Lyrics

CHORUS:
Keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
You can keep the virgin mother
And the resurrection too
Keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis offa you


Well, I'm frickin' sick and tired
Of turning on the news
And seeing the religious right's ungodly fight
To take our right to choose
When to bear our children
Who to love and how
Education and protection, if we're just practicing for now
So W, look, obey a book
If that's what works for you
But I don't tell you how to pray
So don't you tell me how to screw!

CHORUS

So you're screaming bloody murder about the Taliban regime
For subjugating women and being too extreme
And basing legislation on some ancient, holy book
Does that sound a bit familiar?
Here's a mirror, have a look!
And as for the Ten Commandments, they need one more, at least
"Thou shalt never cover up the acts of pervert priests"
Now how'd they let that happen
Unless they just abhor us?
Well, anyway, it adds another layer to the chorus!

CHORUS

So you'll execute a person and then protect the single cell
But mercy kill the terminally ill and you're going straight to Hell?
Well, I don't know much about the word of God, far be it from me
But I can tell you what it ain't, that's hypo-Christianity
Well, I am not anti-Christian, before you grab a rope
There is beauty in religion
And joy and love and hope
And we're all lookin' for that answer
Some colossal, cosmic cause
But who the f**k are you to turn your views into my laws?

It's just believers in the bible that would have abortion banned
Anti-choice agnostics, I could count 'em on one hand
And as for killing babies, I've got but one retort:
If someone raped your daughter, George, you'd beg her to abort

And if some young girl from your church shows up with child or some infection
cause you told her what a horrid sin it was to use protection
Well, one day you'll face the pearly gates
And what you gonna say
When that long-haired, Jewish peacenick sends your ass the other way

Sayin' keep your Jesus off my penis
Keep your bible off my balls
Keep your prayers out of my ears
And your crosses off my walls
I've had it up to here with all the biblobile you spew
So keep your Jesus off my penis
Well, at least that's what I would do
Yeah, keep your Jesus off my penis
I'll keep my penis off of you
That's if'n you want me to

Lyrics provided by LyricsEver.com
Since 1998, he has been on the road playing "folk" venues: festivals (Kerrville, Philly Folk, Falcon Ridge, Oregon Country Fair, South Florida, for example); premier venues such as The Bottom Line, The Ark, The Birchmere, The Tin Angel,Club Passim; and the gigs that keep the singer-songwriter fed: house Concerts, coffeehouses, colleges etc. He composed the score for a musical adaptation of Beowulf presented as a workshop in NYC starring Andre DeShields and Billy Porter. Dr. Demento, a hero of his, plays Schwartz's stuff now and then ("Charliesomething" was #2 for the year a couple of years back.) 'Napster Rap' was featured on NPR's All Things Considered.

A degree in biology from Tufts University and a former career as a touring bilingual actor has furnished Eric Schwartz with a deftly analytical mind, an awesome imagination, and a soul which thrives in the spotlight. Piano was Eric's first instrument. After studying guitar in Madrid, he spent a year performing on the streets and in the cafés of Europe (he can sing songs in five languages and speaks Spanish and French). Eric then moved to Greenwich Village and quickly became a staple on the vicious Village bar scene for five years as he honed his craft as an original singer/songwriter, and began pulling attention from some of the world's toughest audiences.

PA disc jockey Otto Bost wrote, "Eric is a writer who has mastered many styles, and his songs are as varied as the people of New York...The thread that holds them together is the solid craftsmanship of a young men with a pen in his hand, and an intriguingly offbeat view of the world." Fans and music journalists have tried to describe an Eric Schwartz show. Some talk about Eric's gorgeous voice with its baritone-to-Bee-Gees vocal range, the intelligent way in which he uses satire and irony to convey a message, or the tremendous energy and personality he infuses into every show. But most will add, "You'll just have to experience it for yourself.' It should also be noted that he's played the Kerrville Folk Festival three years running. "It's been one of the very best things in my life, that festival in the hill country of Texas. I've had fantastic artists joining me to fill out the sound: Freebo, Jack Williams, Stephanie Corby, Kristin DeWitt, Oliver Steck, Kevin So, and Eric Gerber to name but a few. And this year, I had the honor of serving as a Judge in the New Folk competition there, which was tough, considering that all the participants were excellent. I got to sit next to Texas superstars Slaid Cleaves and Ruthie Foster, and get heckled from the stage by Steve Gillette"

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