The Devil's Lettuce are an Australian experimental psychedelic avant-garde jazz-core post-pubescent band which was formed on the 12th of October 2015 in Perth, Western Australia. It consists of 5 members who are all, indeed, incredibly fond of whipped cream (They do, however, despise low-fat whipped cream, for it is bullshit).

FUN FACT: The band have an average penis length of approximately 70 km. They use this extreme natural phenomenon to help charities across the world. They are solely responsible for the delivery of 2.8 million litres of water to the sandy deserts of the West Sahara, and have even delivered a single Cuban cigar to a dying child.

Returning to music, the band is also known for making the best fuckin' shit since the dawn of time.

The iconic collective own an island in Greece that they have designated as Tasmania, and it is populated with 80 of their lead guitarist's 'side-hoes'. Said side-hoes are deposited into the surrounding ocean within a shipping container, when their uses are fulfilled.

The band is currently on a musical hiatus in order to fulfill their new project that involves obtaining the rights to the Emoji Movie franchise and producing a spinoff sequel for each emoji. There will be 1087 new installments to the franchise released up until the year 2108 with the first installment - The Man With Chinese Hat Dark Skin Tone Emoji Movie - being released early 2018.

The bassist of the band, Keir, can in fact tolerate some vegetables and, in theory, a banana. However, he does not like any music that is deemed 'popular'. (Due to him being, in the words of the drummer, a "Hipster scumbag loser shit."), and his ability to play a rendition of Radiohead's "Like Spinning Plates" on demand makes him redundant.

The vocalist, Zac, is unable to listen to the band's music due to a never-ending hatred of his own voice, and is also famously off-tune at every live performance ever recorded, Another one of his innumerable faults is his uncomprehendable laziness, which manifests in a failure to write music, practise music, or generally achieve anything productive.

The lead guitarist, Adnan, famously has never pronounced his own last name. Despite the debilitating identity-related crises this causes him, he is also blessed with the ability to collect hundreds, upon thousands, of side-hoes. Due to this talent, Adnan is never seen in public - he is either performing live, recording music, or disposing of a used hoe. Adnan is also well known as the world's first straight gay. (He's sexually active, which differentiates him from a bisexual.)

The keyboardist, Cameron, is shit.

When the gods met before time to make a decision on the names of the children of the Earth that wouldnbe blessed with almighty and unfathomable powers, some of them decided to be liberal and generous with whom they would offer such great talents. Others were more inclined to select only few mortals to bestow with great talents. Hilarity ensues (along with an argument), and Zeus rained lightning and thunder on the other gods and they retaliated by sacrificing thousands of mortals. All this might and power culminated and focused on a single point on the earth, and was absorbed by a lonely farming boy, who lived for the next 5000 years to become the single greatest musician ever (Who happenes to be the drummer for The Devil's Lettuce).

There is also a lesser known sixth member named Joel. He is credited to backing vocals on all of The Devil's Lettuce's releases however no-one has actually ever seen him, even the band members. The source of these mysterious backing vocals is yet to be identified however current speculation suggests the voice may belong to Eritrean dictator Isaias Afwerki.

Unfortunetly due to a complicatioin involving a family friendly song contest, a complaint about our names conotations, some of the people running the compertition growing brains and our entire income and fame stream, we are now the band formaly known as The Devil's Lettuce and for the latest developments in this groups career see On Ayr

DISCLAIMER
if you call someone "hipster scum loser shit" in the Greek island of Tasmania it is a complement to their running abilities and slender physique.

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